just a note

i have a cold. i am not cold, i am warm. stevie rae is gonna be cold. i here it can get up to 30 below in montana. ugh. i wanted to write in my blog today because i have so much emotion in me right now. I am hoping that all the eggs i am juggling stay in the air and i do not drop any. i haven't taken any pictures since before she left. i will take tons on my way to montana next week and tons while i am there. i am so proud of my daughter and i hope that she knows that. i hope that she makes the most of this experience just like she did in high school. i can't wait to kiss her cheek. i guess she will always be my baby. xoxo

saying goodbye

today is one of the hardest days of my life. with so many changes happening around me with regard to finances, jobs, friends, and many other things, their is only one thing on my mind and that is the incredible happiness that I feel for my daughter. she is embarking on the most incredible adventure, "music technology" at montana state university, "a bobcat cheerleader", her first job, and taking care of herself for the first time. today we packed up all of her dresses. for those of you who know her, know that she is a princess and shoes and jewerly and bling are very important to her. she is, on the outside, so beautiful and full of life. she is, on the inside, so innocent and kind, non-judgemental, forgiving, strong, faithful, talented and someone that any girl would be lucky to call "best friend" and any boy ecstatic to call "girl friend." the day she was born was one of the happiest days of my life and since then she has been my main source of companionship, joy, and all around time sink. i can't imagine what i will do with myself now that she is gone and who will ask me everyday, "does this look good," or "mom, what do you think about this"? thank heavens for skype and my beautiful son talen.

today, i took them to subway for one last summer lunch, ran errands to get all the last minute things that she will need in montana, and one last summer photo shoot with her brother.

as sad as i am right now, and let me say this pain i feel is soooo soooo bad, i am truly happy for her and all of mine and her hard work to get her to this very point was so worth it.

in my heart i know that this will be the beginning of the rest of her life and i know i will always be her mommy and best friend. i love her so much that words alone wouldn't be enough to describe it.

all you other mom's sending your hearts off to college my heart goes out to you.

xoxo

beautiful B

i love being a mom. i love taking pictures. so with that said, taking pictures of my kids is one of my favorite things to do. i got lucky today when my niece, hannah stephens, and stevie rae agreed to model for me. hannah has to be one of the most beautiful girls. angelina jolie has nothing on her.

stevie rae is such a great model and she is leaving for college in just a little over a week. i am so sad. it looks like i may have found a new model... lol!!!

thanks so much girls for letting me practice my photography. you were both so amazing and i really hope you enjoy the photos.

i love you both so much.

love mommy and auntie lolo

studio coming along

wildest dreams... i never thought i would have my own studio. it is so fun designing the room and planning for my new career. i think i have spent 2 full days at ikea this last month trying to decide on a wardrobe for my studio. stevie rae and lexi helped me put "my decision" together last night. i just love it. i ordered a plum settee for one wall and purchased beautiful black damask curtains. the walls are mustard brown and i just love the color. i can't wait to start taking pictures.

there are times in ones live that you have to stop and think... do i really want to do this. yesterday was one of those times. today i woke up and feel totally at ease with my decision. it was a year in the making and something that i am very proud of. how many 18 year old girls want to wear a sign of their love for their mother on the back of their neck forever. i have the most amazing daughter ever and i am so proud to say that she is going off to college and will someday realize all her dreams - i just know it. so yesterday we got matching tattoos on our necks. Originally we were just gonna get a black and white tat of this special number. it is the number that was on her ankle and my wrist when she was born. the nurse came into the room and said that that number was so important. that she belonged to me and i belonged to her. i asked where is paul's bracelet and they said he didn't get one. i just laughed. the nurse said that it was only for the mommy and her baby. after we left the hospital, i went to the bank and changed my pin number to that number because i loved it so much. lol. so now, that same number is tattoo'd on stevie rae's and my neck. we also have a beautiful cherry blossom that was inspired by a beautiful piece of art that we saw on father's day at the de young museum. i am not sure what i will do when talen is 18 and he wants one too~ LOL

one year anniversary

i really can't believe stevie rae and jeff have been seeing each other for over a year. he is such a sweet guy and really cares for stevie rae. they are both musicians and they have a lot in common. i have to say that jeff was so easy to shoot. he follows direction very well. and well stevie rae is my muse so it's very easy to shoot her.

i also finished painting my new photography studio and have a picture of that for you all to see.

have a great day.

lauri

independence day

some traditions are easily broken, some are not. my cousin suzanne has a cabin in lake tahoe that i have been visiting since i was 3 years old. for those of you not counting, that would be 41 years. my children have grown up vacationing at that familiar small red cabin in the woods of lake tahoe. when we arrive, we feel like we are home. when we leave, we are so sad. there is comfort in knowing what you will get when you get there. well, what you think you will get....

this year when we arrived at the cabin, we were so surprised to see a window broken out in the kitchen. after that surprise it became clear that a human had not done the damage. a bear had broken in to the cabin and complete destroyed the kitchen. actually, nearly burned the cabin down. beyond the cleaning of bear poop and other disgusting stuff, as usual, we had a wonderful time in tahoe this 09! my bestie came with us and we spent the 4th at commons beach in tahoe city watching the fireworks, the 3rd at meeks bay with stacey while the family rafted down the truckee, and the 5th, my 44th birthday, at sand harbor beach in north shore and then a nice dinner on the lake at gar woods with stacey. tahoe may very well be a little slice of heaven. thanks again suzanne.